it hurts more in the daytime
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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