it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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