Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
