Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Randomize
