Swine flu. Run for my life!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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