thus making me awesome and them whores
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
