Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
