Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i came on her dog
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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