no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
