Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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