All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
