the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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