eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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