Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
