Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
