is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
