Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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