I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize