Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
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