and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
