He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
