i jhust puked up my retainher.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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