all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
