Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
