Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
