...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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