His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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