in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize