Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
