The maid of honor just puked.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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