I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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