I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
