sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
