how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
