We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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