You smell like stripper and shame
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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