im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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