quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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