I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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