Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
