You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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