your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
