Heybabeimwearingurpanties
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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