id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
