also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
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Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
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The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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