I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
