hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
