if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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