can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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