is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My penis needs a shock collar
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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