dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
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Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
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I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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