she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
