you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
