Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
