I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize