we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
