well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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