dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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